Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Love Relationships: What happens when the bliss turns stale? Or worse, abusive?

What happens when the Bliss turns stale?

     Your lover can either be a mirror, a teacher, a blessing of growth; or a codependent struggle for Power and control. When a relationship shifts from bliss to feeling unpleasant, what fears are actually being triggered? What patterns are you repeating from one lover to the next? Are you a runner? Do you get critical and combative? Or do you shut down and pull on a victim mask? Maybe you just think that you’re being smothered and your soul is dying some long slow death and to stop the bleeding you cut the other person loose. Or worse, you push them away hoping they will dump you, so you don’t have to feel guilty. Does any of that sound familiar? All of it? One time or another, you’ve likely played many if not all of these roles. I know that I have. Go on, admit it. The truth will set you free.

     What happens to us? We all crave love. I believe Love is the essence of our Creator and therefore, the essence of who we are. So how does it become so ugly? I wrote in a post many months ago, we are all just clumsily seeking love. Some people argued with me on that post. “I’m not clumsy.” Yes, you are. We are tripping and falling over ourselves to try to fall in love and at the same time avoid being hurt. In the process we hurt the other person, and then they trigger us and we’re on a merry go round of cyclical bliss to pain, round and round we go.

     It’s not until we truly accept that the hurt comes from within us and not from the other person, that we have a chance at experiencing a connection. To love yourself enough to say to someone, I love you but you are being unkind. I can forgive you, but I can’t let you treat me that way, I love myself enough to draw a line. And I love you enough to want you to become a better version of yourself and I don’t think this is working. And the flip side of that is to be able to receive the same type of insights from someone else rather than becoming defensive and resentful.

     Love is about respect, allowance, non-judgement, kindness... to yourself and others. We are like a piano that has been neglected. The strings have been so out of tune for so long, that it takes time, patience and consistent re-tunings and adjustments to stay in that blissful space of perfect pitch. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle and loving to you... and someone matching that tuning, that frequency will come along... and hopefully, if you remain patient and kind, you can help to keep each other in tune, even when triggered to stretch those strings into a cacophonous tone... be patient with your mistakes and be patient with your lover’s misgivings and just take the time to fill each other’s lives with the special magic created by beautifully synchronized harmonies.

I wish that you all find the greatest, most blissful love within and in another. They are one and the same.️ .  Life Coaching, Tarot & Numerology Readings, Intuitive Love GuidanceBy appointment... (864) 915-2313

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